Toyshop
Delivery Options:
・ upper-middle-first-class shipping [same day delivery accompanied by the baizuo inbred gospel]
・ burgher 25% value added tax-class shipping [lickety split, systemic crisis]
・ neglected-class shipping [1 month donkey courier]
oi!
you looking for the settings, mate?
why? wanna fix your life?
what you gonna do? roger someone? turn em into a princess?
imagine the inability to improve or obtain cultural strength without corporations…
HAHA! crazy! bedlam, innit?
yeah, nah. get bent, mate.
scoliosis.
i’ll blow your mind.. whaddya think about that?
hold on, gotta get my gold-plated megaphone,
just gimme a minute…
helo, it is i, the iguana squire, best porter & page boy on the wORLD WIDE WEB!
yes, that’s where you are right now. you’re LOGGED ON to the iNTERNET (sphere of DEATH), this ETHERIC plane where the dead reside. a GODLESS ABYSS, no lifeforms, only data & dandies.. hyper-reality, bubbleboy. lobotomy city, wither’d brainz torn & twizted by telepresence. utopian technopriests collect data 2 monitor you & directly dump info in to ur mind crystal; 2 birds 1 stan
stuck in ur digital ghetto, in a box, under a bus.. sinking beneath the asset-less yoke. not engaging in the real world. a body w/out organz &c.
may not an arse know when the CART draws the lizard?
spend ur money while ye may 4 when comes 2moro, fades 2day as they say, eh?
ready to check out now? lemme get those bags for you, i’m the iguana squire, best porter & page boy on the wORLD WIDE WEB!

Hear ye, hear ye!
ladies & lads, tele-friends & fiends.. eorðbūend
welcome to a brave new age of corny mercantile expansionism, a freakshow circus where we profit off of DEATH itself
money off of horror, money off of misery & longing, money off of deformity & men gone MAD
honesty as gormless, cruelty as entertainment, courtesy as weakness
fragmented minds, merged altars & standardised desecration, mungo. neo-pussy-rainbow-kapital-incorporated. shut the fricc up.
when Adam dalf, & Eve span, who was thanne a gentilman? a body w/out organz.
onwendeð Wyrda gesceaft weoruld under heofonum.
ne mæg werig mod Wyrd wiðstondan.
Clothing & Fribbles
Trinkets & Baubles
Here lyeth muche rychnesse in lytel space..
NEW “Gnome” SIZE OPTIONS AVAILABLE FOR THOSE UNDER 6ft
Jagged Rocks – restocked!
The psychological, emotional and social cost of high-tech solitude is mUCH MORE EXPENSIVE THAN OUR EPIC 69% OFF SALE!!
buy buy buy buy buy buybuy buyuybuybuy buybuy byuybuy b
liquid crystal consciousness
human brains are shrinking & humanity is selecting for traits that aren’t adaptive haha bUY STUFF!
how are you enjoying the dimensional hypercube of now?
do you operate within deep abstraction?
does your existence revolve around: “how would doing [F] appear to [U] type people I want to think of me as [D]?”
then you’re in the wrong virtual town matey boy lass, log off rIGHT NOW
All dreams are anagrams of diurnal reality
you wanna be a “person” yeah? then buy stuff!
what are you waiting for? it’ll make you real cool and unique, even give the illusion of personality.
arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times ladies and lads, it’s going to be a wild ride

The
new “Loot Bushel”
only available @ 🌊.·:*𝓪𝕋𝓞ᗰ𝐢Č 𝕪Ỗย𝐓𝓱*:·.🌊

The Atomic Platinum Treasure Chest™
Subscribe for a monthly box of useless crap & get 1 FREE╰┈➤Lobotomy💀👌
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯ from the low low price of 5.00 4.99 fēorðings



Cut the coat of your passion according to the fashion of the times. You know you’re a REAL revolutionary when you can comfortably tie your colours to the mast!
Gubbins
gladrags, garter belts, late culture & broken lights.
souvenirs, trinkets & boltzmann brains

Victuals
the choicest of vittles from the Forme of Cury
breakfast, elevenses, lunch, 2nd breakfast, apres-lunch, rail sarnies,
St. Æthelwine’s meal, dindins, tea, supper, Godgyfu’s nibbles
after-supper, Mrs Marshall’s ice cream dreams,
The Midnight Harvest & 2AM pasty
Reviews
ATOMIC YOUTH my friends, I have been do some thinking.
Meaning is no longer objective or transcendent… something ontologically ‘real’ or given, in many brain is now conspiracy.
Language is a tool used to subvert meaning; the conjuring of lingual spells 2 alter social reality. 🥪 Word magic, gnosticism, bohemian echoes & twats. A langwich regime imposed upon us, shaping ppl’s ancient & culturally conditioned perceptions of themselves, their customs, their sandwiches & their relationships with one another.
recreation of the human. Quadraspazzed. neuroplastic ellipse… Neon Eden.
maaaaan, ath the cuthtodian of hith own evoluthion, tranthending hith own thenthe of humanity, a metamorphothith to ~post-prog-alt-human~
Crabcore. Merging with his own technology & stealing digital immortality from the universe itself.
“Ignorance, disease, poverty, guilt, loneliness, despair, arse ache… anything can be abolished” HAHAH GOOFY😂
Your song about shire horse🐎, pretty keyring & overpriced cup with funny graphic on inspires me greatly. Thanking you

- bless you, femi. all the best to you and yours, lad
En todas partes cuecen habas

wglgoogoggloglgoblubeguhghghegel lolgelhoggelehgog!

this is real story. if u mongo dont believe u should go into down under the sea and go look!
spear in you chest ouch and see who stab
MERMAID are real they kill you, not friendly!

- be careful reynolde mate
Yesterday i saw a dog in a ghetto and asked my driver Pedro to pull over. She was on her side, bloated like a blimp, viscera all over. I couldn’t help but think of how this dog reminded me of the peasantry and how i am in control of them. I plunged my arms inside of the dog and felt the organs glide betwixt my fingerbones and whispered “I am in control, I am inside of you now.” I felt supreme.. squeezing the dog’s innards, completely in control. It was glorious, i felt my power level increase tenfold. I thought about that time in Korea… the man i paid in the alley, it all came rushing back. Pedro vomited and i told him to sHUT UP, he needed to understand what i was doing. Everyone does. I fired Pedro. Humans may not understand my plans right now but they will understand, soon you will all understand. Hahahahaa
Fantastic t-shirts btw, great fit! My wife only wears tri-blend. Nice job team.

Yuo guys r Uncool.

- True ✔️ · Fak-Czech'd by sNopeZ dot com
I am a devotee of pottery and eurhythmic dancing, and I lead a well-respected witches’ coven in the West Riding. I’ll have you know we’re on good terms with Satan, who often appears to our coven in the form of the Great Black Goat of Mytholmroyd when we offer him motion lotion & abortions. Our chief warlock, Councillor Albert Fliffnit-Pickleburg, was delighted with the promptly delivered Fedora of Invisibility, but we are not so pleased with Atomic Youth’s blatant Evilphobia. And so, I have written in request to the government and multinational corporations that they de-platform your band, forthwith.

3 years ago this weekend, i was bludgeoned to death and buried in a wood
today, my superspink™ telepresence balloon is still inflated. 🙂
buy

As a community co-ordinator cognitive face painting practitioner, I have an issue with the information listed in the album credits. Although I have personally collaborated on a number of corpo-government funded psycho-socio-economic authority workshops, I nearly choked on my bathtub champagne when I read “wizard’s tits” in the liner notes.
The silicon police have been informed.

Hwǣr cwōm mearg?

Art forms are inherently manipulative but the structure of that manipulation must be invisible, elsewise an intelligent audience is a step ahead… like myself.
I’m a galaxy brain genius; the mob standard of muzick is so low that a multitude of ass can be concealed with marketing and sassy political lyrics.
Just like television, of which I am also an expert™ consumer. Imagine a series of little crafted skits masquerading as a documentary (a cult classic) compared to a derivative concept with redacted social dichotomies, zero effort one-liners, wisecracking guys in charge ohohoheheeh, “wacky” with a sense of deadness, forced sentimentality, lowest-common-denominator, slapstick, set pieces involving farts… etc
You guys remind me of the latter, except you’ve stolen everything from the Spice Girls! Scary spice? Baby spice? Sporty spice? …right down to the 200bpm guitar arpeggios. I will clap like a brainless dugong when your lives are ruined by blue tick millionaires. Good day to you.

WOAW. JUST WAoW, Y’ALL

change the admin password back right now or i’ll chop you into little pieces and chuck you under the floorboards
and stop writing fake reviews

Smells! SMELLS FUNNY. CAN’T GET OVER THE SMELL. Not a bad smell, though.

i am the reincarnation of oscar wilde. i grew up the only rich kid on Twat Lane; my african babysitter taught me how to freestyle rap.
i won lowrider hydraulic battles, built a robot when i was 5 and i’m the biggest crybaby.
i’ve won art contests with impressionistic landscapes, my fanfiction is the best rated on the World Wide Web.
Go ahead, say i’m a liar. I DON’T CARE.

- thankyou my iberian friend, ver y cooool
Today is Wednesday, the 15th of June, the 1994th year in the Age of Grace, and today I would like to out Owen Jones.
Ms Jones is a shoefaced, impotent bungler & a jumped up little clown, that has been a practising fluffer for as long as I’ve known him.

Bloody good stuff mind! Bang on. Top notch. High quality innit. Soothes the collywobbles right and proper.

good.

Size chart is incorrect. Order 4 sizes larger than your usual, wee bit tight on me muffins.
A young man rudely asked if I was “gargling chestnuts” while on the phone…
Returned with refund. Will nae order again.

thank you very muc h wE MUST STAND WITH SAUDI COALITION AGAINST TRAITOR NATION QATAR.
DRONE THEM NOW U.S.a enter code 「BANA」 in PizzaShed™ get free Dr.Peeper with you purchase good hydrate! 👌

bad stinky.

Pros: BPA FREE, XENOESTROGEN FREE, RETROREFLECTOR FREE, PROJECT BLUE BEAM CYBER-SLIME FREE.
Cons: None so far, I will update in 2 years time.

bellissimo!!!

- bless you, Giuseppe lad
I had an espresso and pastel de nata at Babel airport in Strasbourg (the rightful capital of England) this afternoon and got on a London flight all happy. Then taxiing through Kensington I realised I was about to leave Eunuch Soil™ for the last time as a Eunuch Citizen™
And I broke…
hECK this. I will live on rage now. It’s real.
hECK this.

- wind ur neck in, captain creambeard
Ilove Atomic youth! i love you gusys sooo much :3 tehe
thank you so much for m y tshirt i love the smell. yummy

Very nice rhythm yes. I like the beat

i’m friends with reptilians and grey aliens and giant bumblebees.
i dress like a kitty cat or succubus or an angel depending on my mood, sometimes even a ballerina!!
i wear nappies and invented the Segway but some hECKER stole it from me and i invented Hiphop and the Engrish Brekkfast, too.

- wowe. all the best & merry Kwanza n all that, mate
頭が痛くなってくるわ

!1AQaq0″2‘@R3¡±Bb#r’4!P1 @0`p€ÿÚäs{<•€FÊîñ©L›Ã4Ò l`6×p² µi¬cÕª`.e‹„›s‘7—!ªÜÜÖŠÄ€Z6ª²TÜÝíWK\ÅÓô]-ê”îÚ’y¼uQÈÂŽòés#:ÚA§—Hx`T™S –mC…@g•Ðp/(ó <…\¼Ç]‡²þr¢]Þy<Œ—6?®Ãçqýg›tÍ]îcbÖòD»TÆqŽcapd.ÎG0çô î‹¢š bcM*Mn有fÖiX„Η«©P›Ä[Jº»Yuœ—mˆM(„-EŽjõ.ÃQ–æצ` ËHìõ¼‰ò׿ɵ²¡§ª×ÒXYgP,‚†Òu<ÅUÝ…ØeuEé9¼/£s*ÀrhÒ-‡æU+ÓšU~Š ¸ê«YF‰‚£½çÐq’q…Ù’˜‹Èô k:Õ^7@qXeÇ2HÐY¹¼Œ£d¹*(FÓÀavñª·êÙC(æ´Àš¹q.F ŠÙ‚aj ;ÕIËúÊx¼Ÿ_ç0Óœ¿C1¢M:ÝåÏã

i CAN HEAR MY EYES

ATOMIC YOUTH, us children of Molochville need you r helP!!!
The Molochville government has banned all ATOMIC YOUTH diddly doos from the public because it sound too dangerous and very danger to play on Molochville hardware!!!
You’re the only ones who can save us!!! Please hurry!!!

ES FREUT MICH, SIE KENNEN ZU LERNEN. ACH JE!
MIR GEFÄLLT ESSEHR GUT! ICH HÖREN SEIT EINEM MONAT superspink, VOLKSWAGON GOLF DASEIN GEWORFEN BACKPFEIFENGESICHT. ICH BRAUCHE EINEN ARZT.

i have lost all claim to the respect of the world or the charity of heaven
bUT AT LEAST I HAVE A NEW PAIR OF AIR JOHNNYS 💪( ˘ω˘💪)

Lovely

- helo maddie, big fan.
if i were a lute, ur feminine claw wouldst strum my soul's yearning chords tbh.
i am a pillar of salt, please sign my rollerblades